Why Fund-raise?

I have to admit, it feels weird. It's hard basically asking people for their money for what will be our child. I know, I get it. 

Here are the thoughts we've had over the course of the last several months as we've prayed and considered this particular timing for our adoption process:

If we can't afford this adoption on our own, should we even be doing it?


Should we be debt-free before pursuing this?


Maybe we should save up as much as we can and then just hope grants cover the rest.


Are people going to think we're irresponsible for pursuing this right now, when we already have 4 little mouths to feed?


Will we embarrass our families by asking for donations toward our adoption?


What do people get out of helping us financially?


So. Here's where we landed on each of those thoughts/concerns.

If we can't afford this adoption on our own, should we even be doing it?
Pride. That's the word that came to me over and over again as I asked God this question. We've made some hard choices in our marriage. Me being home with the kids before we could even really afford it, is one of them. Our life has not been one of financial abundance. We've struggled at times, but we have always had all our needs provided for, and often, we have been abundantly blessed with our wants. Nevertheless, it has been difficult at times to watch friends and family surge far ahead of us financially, able to take nice vacations, purchase newer cars and bigger houses, and put their kids in various activities. We have often discussed our choice for me to remain at home, and we always decide it is so, so, so worth it. Pride would be the only reason that we would seek two incomes, and that is definitely not okay with us.

In some ways, this adoption is similar. There is a gap between where we need to go financially and what we are able to do on our own. Asking for help with this stinks only because it hurts our pride. And that's not a good enough reason to leave children that we believe we are called to help, waiting. The road to adoption is paved in sacrifices of various forms. For us, I truly believe God is calling us to humility in order to rescue a hurting child. (P.S. I hate the language of "saving" and "rescuing" children through adoption because I feel like it ignores all that the child loses when he or she is removed from his or her culture, home, caregivers, etc., but the truth is, from where we are adopting from, rescue is an appropriate term. These children need forever families. Period.)

We want to obey God. We want to be available to love children and the best way to do that is to give them a family. So, yes, even though we can't afford $30,000.00 on our own, we should be doing this.

Should we be debt-free before pursuing this?
This one is tricky. I think God is pretty clear about how he feels about debt throughout Scripture. And, we are definitely working on it. I also believe that He does call some families to become debt-free prior to beginning the adoption process. However, unless God tells you otherwise, we don't believe it is a requirement. I honestly think it's just a matter of opinion. Because of student loans, it will be several years before we have eliminated all our debt and we want to bring our daughter home without a huge age gap between her and her brothers. She will already struggle with feeling different throughout her life, and a large age gap would contribute to this unnecessarily. This process will likely take us at least 2 years and frankly, we're fairly certain this will not be our last adoption. Our debt is being dealt with and we will continue to do so, but we don't think it's a requirement to give a child a family.

Maybe we should save up as much as we can and then just hope grants cover the rest.
Frankly, it would take us years to save up anywhere close to the amount. We feel called now. There are children now. The only reason we would do this would be, you guessed it, pride.

Are people going to think we're irresponsible for pursuing this right now, when we already have 4 little mouths to feed?
In a word, yes. Yes they will. They also thought we were irresponsible when we had child #3, and definitely child #4. People have all sorts of opinions. And yet, the problem remains that there are 143 million orphans in this world. Our children have a roof over their heads, 3 square meals, endless snacks, more toys than they or I know what to do with, and so much clothing I can't keep up with all the laundry they produce. None of that will change. And for us, that's good enough. We love our boys, but giving them everything the world has to offer has never been a priority for us. However, teaching them compassion and self-sacrifice, is. Teaching them to take seriously the commands of Jesus, is. Loving others more than ourselves, is.

Will we embarrass our families by asking for donations toward our adoption?
 I finally had to admit that we probably will. We're sorry! We don't want to embarrass anyone! And I am just hoping that as the miracles come pouring in, and when our little girl is home safe and sound, they'll be glad we did.

What do people get out of helping us financially?
Here's the thing. I know that at the end of the day, we will be receiving most of the blessing. From watching God answer our prayers, to receiving so much generosity from our friends and family, to raising our beautiful Ethiopian daughter, we win in every category. But, our sincere prayer is that by participating in this monumental effort, it will be evident that this process is doable. Folks will lay down their excuses, if they have them, and will join up to give children what they desperately want and need, a family. We hope that people will realize that adoption is possible, you just have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get your little one home! Our hope is that, people will experience these blessings themselves one day soon and we can't wait to support them when they take the leap!

I realize that my answers will not satisfy every concern others might have, and that's okay. We have total faith that God will move the hearts that He wants to move and He will supply the money we need to bring our daughter home. We are not placing expectations on our friends and family. If you feel led, give. If you don't, keep praying for us, okay? We need that even more.