Want $50 to go out to eat?

We are thrilled to be partnering with coupaide.com to bring our little girl home! I am so, so, so excited about this fundraiser because you, our supporters, get something very cool in return for your support! 

 Here's the deal: 

 For $20, you will instantly receive a $50 giftcard to Restaurant.com. If you've never used Restaurants.com, it's a site that hosts over 18,000 restaurants across the nation. You go on Restaurant.com, find the restaurant you want to eat at and redeem your giftcard for a gift certificate to that establishment. One particularly cool thing is that you can even spread your $50 out over a few different places in increments of $10, $15, or $25! And you can give the giftcard as a gift! For every $20 you spend, we will receive $10 toward the cost of our adoption! 

 So, to make it simple: 

You SPEND $20 

You GET $50 

WE get $10

 Pretty sweet deal for everyone! Enjoy!

JUST CLICK BELOW:

Planning, planning!

Hello friends and family!

As we wade into this process, we are excited about the level of creativity required to get this thing done! If you're looking for a way to help, please consider the following:


DONATE GENTLY USED ITEMS: We are beginning to plan a monster garage sale! We would love to have a variety of items that we can sell to raise funds for the crazy fees we have coming up. Just shoot us an e-mail or give us a call and we'll find a way to pick up your items!

DONATE GOODS AND SERVICES: We are very excited to host an online raffle featuring any goods and services we or our friends can offer! Are you a photographer? Consider donating a family photo shoot! Are you crafty? Perhaps you could host lessons or donate one of your creations! We have so many talented friends and family, we feel like this could be a great project!

TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!: Spread the word! If you have friends or family who would enjoy partnering with us, we'd love to have them.

As always, thank you for your help and love! We are humbled by your tremendous support.

If there are 147 million orphans, WHY does adoption take so long???

Our dear friends who are also in the process of adopting from Ethiopia have answered this question perfectly on their family blog.

Read it! SO good.
http://gibbsfamilyadventure.blogspot.com/2012/07/they-are-worth-it.html

Pure & Faultless

I am overwhelmed.

So many of you have been so generous.

I really don't have words to tell you how grateful we are. We did not expect this. We have been given so much in ONE WEEK. 

James 1:27 says "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

You're doing that very thing. You're looking after a sweet little girl who won't be an orphan for long. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Even Si-Guy...

Many of you know that Silas (our 2nd born) is a money lover. He's a saver. He's an embezzler (just from us!). I placed this jar on a bookcase, and within 5 minutes he was searching couch cushions and scouring the floor. I even heard him shaking his most prized possession, his piggy bank. 

These boys have sweet hearts and I am so grateful for each of them. Somewhere out there is a little girl who will be so blessed to be loved on by them. 

Race and my 4 Little White Boys

My boys are as white as white as white can be. :-) And our new daughter will be.... definitely NOT white. I am still learning exactly how I'm supposed to navigate the language part of this whole journey, so bear with me.

The one thing I do know is that, we will not be ignoring the fact that she looks different than the rest of us, that her skin will be much darker than the rest of her family's. Studies, books, personal experience all emphatically state that to do so would be more damaging to her than helpful. She needs to be able to acknowledge, process, and talk about the differences among us. She will most likely have times when her differences make her feel frustrated and alone (hello, puberty!). We'll be celebrating her Ethiopian culture and heritage every chance we get along the way. My boys are already loving any youtube video I can find that shows them Ethiopia. 

On that note, a few weeks ago, when we first told the boys about this adoption, I called Cole to me one afternoon so I could show him pictures on the computer of Ethiopian children. What followed was a conversation I will never forget.

Cole, looking intently at the photos: "Um, no, no, no, Mommy. I want my sister to have normal skin."

Me, taking a deep breath: "Sweetie, these children do have normal skin. It's just different than yours and not something you see a lot of here in our town. In Ethiopia, everyone has darker skin. It's normal there."

Cole, with a big smile: "Oh!!! Okay!"

Me: Sigh of relief

I realized after this conversation, that the best way to tackle this issue is to just be open and honest about it. Children notice stuff. And the truth is, they haven't seen a lot of people with darker skin. It's our job to make this "normal" for them.

So, a few days later, another opportunity presented itself. We were parked at the gas station and in front of us was a mother and her two sons, all African America. I jumped at the chance (from the privacy of our car) to open up communication with Cole about it again. 

Me: "Cole! Do you see that beautiful family?"

Cole: "Oh yeah! Yes Mommy, they are beautiful!"

A pause.

Cole: "And how nice, they drove here from Ethiopia!"

We're getting there, I think. :-)

Why Fund-raise?

I have to admit, it feels weird. It's hard basically asking people for their money for what will be our child. I know, I get it. 

Here are the thoughts we've had over the course of the last several months as we've prayed and considered this particular timing for our adoption process:

If we can't afford this adoption on our own, should we even be doing it?


Should we be debt-free before pursuing this?


Maybe we should save up as much as we can and then just hope grants cover the rest.


Are people going to think we're irresponsible for pursuing this right now, when we already have 4 little mouths to feed?


Will we embarrass our families by asking for donations toward our adoption?


What do people get out of helping us financially?


So. Here's where we landed on each of those thoughts/concerns.

If we can't afford this adoption on our own, should we even be doing it?
Pride. That's the word that came to me over and over again as I asked God this question. We've made some hard choices in our marriage. Me being home with the kids before we could even really afford it, is one of them. Our life has not been one of financial abundance. We've struggled at times, but we have always had all our needs provided for, and often, we have been abundantly blessed with our wants. Nevertheless, it has been difficult at times to watch friends and family surge far ahead of us financially, able to take nice vacations, purchase newer cars and bigger houses, and put their kids in various activities. We have often discussed our choice for me to remain at home, and we always decide it is so, so, so worth it. Pride would be the only reason that we would seek two incomes, and that is definitely not okay with us.

In some ways, this adoption is similar. There is a gap between where we need to go financially and what we are able to do on our own. Asking for help with this stinks only because it hurts our pride. And that's not a good enough reason to leave children that we believe we are called to help, waiting. The road to adoption is paved in sacrifices of various forms. For us, I truly believe God is calling us to humility in order to rescue a hurting child. (P.S. I hate the language of "saving" and "rescuing" children through adoption because I feel like it ignores all that the child loses when he or she is removed from his or her culture, home, caregivers, etc., but the truth is, from where we are adopting from, rescue is an appropriate term. These children need forever families. Period.)

We want to obey God. We want to be available to love children and the best way to do that is to give them a family. So, yes, even though we can't afford $30,000.00 on our own, we should be doing this.

Should we be debt-free before pursuing this?
This one is tricky. I think God is pretty clear about how he feels about debt throughout Scripture. And, we are definitely working on it. I also believe that He does call some families to become debt-free prior to beginning the adoption process. However, unless God tells you otherwise, we don't believe it is a requirement. I honestly think it's just a matter of opinion. Because of student loans, it will be several years before we have eliminated all our debt and we want to bring our daughter home without a huge age gap between her and her brothers. She will already struggle with feeling different throughout her life, and a large age gap would contribute to this unnecessarily. This process will likely take us at least 2 years and frankly, we're fairly certain this will not be our last adoption. Our debt is being dealt with and we will continue to do so, but we don't think it's a requirement to give a child a family.

Maybe we should save up as much as we can and then just hope grants cover the rest.
Frankly, it would take us years to save up anywhere close to the amount. We feel called now. There are children now. The only reason we would do this would be, you guessed it, pride.

Are people going to think we're irresponsible for pursuing this right now, when we already have 4 little mouths to feed?
In a word, yes. Yes they will. They also thought we were irresponsible when we had child #3, and definitely child #4. People have all sorts of opinions. And yet, the problem remains that there are 143 million orphans in this world. Our children have a roof over their heads, 3 square meals, endless snacks, more toys than they or I know what to do with, and so much clothing I can't keep up with all the laundry they produce. None of that will change. And for us, that's good enough. We love our boys, but giving them everything the world has to offer has never been a priority for us. However, teaching them compassion and self-sacrifice, is. Teaching them to take seriously the commands of Jesus, is. Loving others more than ourselves, is.

Will we embarrass our families by asking for donations toward our adoption?
 I finally had to admit that we probably will. We're sorry! We don't want to embarrass anyone! And I am just hoping that as the miracles come pouring in, and when our little girl is home safe and sound, they'll be glad we did.

What do people get out of helping us financially?
Here's the thing. I know that at the end of the day, we will be receiving most of the blessing. From watching God answer our prayers, to receiving so much generosity from our friends and family, to raising our beautiful Ethiopian daughter, we win in every category. But, our sincere prayer is that by participating in this monumental effort, it will be evident that this process is doable. Folks will lay down their excuses, if they have them, and will join up to give children what they desperately want and need, a family. We hope that people will realize that adoption is possible, you just have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get your little one home! Our hope is that, people will experience these blessings themselves one day soon and we can't wait to support them when they take the leap!

I realize that my answers will not satisfy every concern others might have, and that's okay. We have total faith that God will move the hearts that He wants to move and He will supply the money we need to bring our daughter home. We are not placing expectations on our friends and family. If you feel led, give. If you don't, keep praying for us, okay? We need that even more. 

The First Piece of the Puzzle

Many of you know that stepping into this adoption journey is a huge leap of faith for our family. Somewhere along the way, I picked up and latched on to the idea that when something is God's will, it will be easy. He'll open doors, He'll bless the road with signs and wonders. I do believe that He chooses to work this way occasionally. But I also believe that often, the road we walk out of obedience is marked with difficulty and trial. It's that way because this world is broken and hurting.

But I think that another reason He allows the road to be difficult is because when we set out to be about His work, He wants us to stick closely to Him, to watch Him work, to rely wholly on His strength, and to be able to say, "Only by the Grace of God". All glory is His.

That's where we are. We believe that He has placed compassion for orphans in our hearts. We know that caring for the fatherless is not an option, but a mandate. We know that children need families. And we have plenty of room in our hearts for more children. 

We are ready to see some miracles! 


We don't know how God will do this, but we know He can! I have to admit, I am really excited to watch how this all unfolds. I can't wait to snuggle our little girl someday and tell her the story of how He got her home. I am thrilled to be a part of how He is demonstrating His love for her.

With that said, I'd like to present our first real fundraiser. We have purchased a 256 piece puzzle of the Ethiopian flag. Each piece is "for sale" for $10. If you choose to purchase a piece or pieces, your name or your family's name will be written on that piece. Our dream is to write a name on every single piece, put the puzzle together, and frame it in her room so that she can see with her own eyes just how many people wanted her, how she was loved before we even knew her name. 

If you would like to be a part of this fundraiser, please click below to purchase your puzzle piece. We are grateful for your support. 

Are you sure? Really?

It's been interesting to note the many reactions we've received as we've been slowly letting the world know of our intent to adopt our daughter from Ethiopia. Some folks can barely mask their surprise. We've received many, "Why Ethiopia?" questions, a few "Why not adopt a kid here?", several smiling, shaking heads, and some folks who just have very little to say. We have also received smiles, hugs, offers to stay with our kids while we travel to Africa, and excitement over little girl things. 

I didn't really expect anything different. 

It's a lot to wrap a mind around. There are moments when I feel just as mixed in my own reactions. I think about how easy life is starting to feel. After 6 years of newborns, we're rounding the corner. We can leave kids with babysitters, I'm done nursing, most nights everyone sleeps. We're able to just enjoy our 4 children. 

And now, we're about to rock the boat again. 

I've questioned if I'm someone who just can't seem to enjoy life, who craves drama. I've wondered if this will be the biggest mistake of our life. And usually, as I'm entertaining these thoughts, I hear another voice saying, "Don't panic. You'll be sure again tomorrow." And thus far, every single time, the moments of anxiety pass, and once again I know that I know that I know that our daughter is waiting for us. And we have to go get her.

I think the difficult part is that we're not perfect. Isn't that ALWAYS the problem??? We're imperfect parents. We love our children, we enjoy them immensely... but we also identify with the desire to be "done" with having little children, to move on to the next stage. We aren't those people (if those people even exist) who are just incredible with their 12 kids, who seem to want their entire world to revolve around caring for their children's needs. We're impatient, we're selfish, we like to go out, and we really like to sleep. 

But there's a difference between what the flesh wants, and what brings peace. There's a huge difference between what our culture values and what beats in time with the heart of God. And there is something about realizing that for the first time in your adult life, you are about to do something, to enter a season in which His strength really will be your strength. Somehow, it makes this faith thing real. It carries with it an assurance that imperfection is the name of the game and we are not disqualified because of it.

It doesn't bother me, not really, when I sense disapproval from those we share our plans with. It doesn't hurt when I answer the same questions over and over. Because I feel the same way. I feel conflicted, I wonder why we're doing this. I fear for my boys, I worry for the stability of our family. I wonder about our friends, about our extended relationships. I fear judgment now, and later. 

But, we can't escape the truth that if we choose to ignore this pull on our hearts, we are telling a child no. We are saying that our convenience, our sleep and date nights, matter more. And frankly, that makes me sick. Because of course they don't. 

One of the greatest desires of our hearts is to see more people open their homes and families to children who need them desperately. If that means that we have to offer our imperfect selves, parenting, finances, and lives to be used as an example of exactly how creative and capable our God is, then so be it. It will be uncomfortable. It will be humiliating. It will be difficult.

But hopefully, it will mean children find homes.

And for us, it means that we will bring another precious child home who will drive us nuts, make us crazy, and force us to laugh so we don't cry. Just as we've done 4 times. 

We can't wait.

Influence

Written words move me. Nine times out of ten, God uses scripture, books, blogs, articles, etc. to get my attention. I mentioned in my previous post that after Gray was born, we knew we wanted to adopt "someday", but God pushed up our timeline by keeping the orphan crisis literally right in front of our noses.

I thought it might be helpful to list some of the written pieces that moved me. And by moved me, I mean transformed me into a sobbing mess for 6 months. By moved me, I mean forced me to face reality, and folks, reality is not a pretty thing. This world is hurting. Children are suffering. And we have been called to so much more than we are doing. So, here's a list of some of my "tops", the written words that changed our family's direction forever.

Scripture: 

Isaiah 58

Matthew 25

James 1:27

Blogs:

Kristen Howerton has blogged prolifically about adoption, both international and domestic. She's a favorite. I have a secret desire to someday meet her. I totally have an "in" as my sis is super good friends with a guy that does their family pics.... you never know!
http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2010/06/what-i-wanted-to-say.html

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2010/10/do-orphans-need-saving.html

Heather Hendrick: wrote this beautifully gut-wrenching piece on her first few months in Haiti with her family. This one was read through sobs to my Brandon late one night. I think we both knew things were about to change for us.
http://allthingshendrick.blogspot.com/2010/10/reality-is-weighty-thing.html

Books:
7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess: "American life can be excessive, to say the least. That’s what Jen Hatmaker had to admit after taking in hurricane victims who commented on the extravagance of her family’s upper middle class home. She once considered herself unmotivated by the lure of prosperity, but upon being called “rich” by an undeniably poor child, evidence to the contrary mounted, and a social experiment turned spiritual was born."


Kisses from Katie: "What would cause an eighteen-year-old old senior class president and homecoming queen from Nashville, Tennessee, to disappoint her parents by forgoing college, break her little brother’s heart, lose all but a handful of her friends (because the rest of them think she has gone off the deep end), and break up with the love of her life, all so she could move to Uganda, where she knew only one person but didn’t know any of the language? A passion to make a difference. Katie Davis left over Christmas break her senior year for a short mission trip to Uganda and her life was turned completely inside out. She found herself so moved by the people and children of Uganda that she knew her calling was to return and care for them. She has given up a relatively comfortable life—at a young age—to care for the less fortunate of this world. She was so moved by the need she witnessed, she’s centered her life around meeting that need. Katie, a charismatic and articulate young woman, is in the process of adopting thirteen children in Uganda, and she completely trusts God for daily provision for her and her family."


Radical: "In Radical, David Platt challenges you to consider with an open heart how we have manipulated the gospel to fit our cultural preferences. He shows what Jesus actually said about being his disciple--then invites you to believe and obey what you have heard. And he tells the dramatic story of what is happening as a "successful" suburban church decides to get serious about the gospel according to Jesus."




Disclosure: Do not read unless you are ready to be rocked to your core. 

Here We Go...

When I was 7 years old, my family moved into a new neighborhood. The first family we met had two sons, one of whom was my age and would be in my class at my new school, and one baby daughter. As we visited with our new neighbors, my eyes were drawn to the beautiful baby girl sitting on her mom's hip. Unlike her parents and brothers, she was Korean. It wasn't long until we learned that Katie was adopted when she was 6 months old. I believe God planted the seeds in my heart right then and there.

When Brandon and I were engaged, we talked a lot about having children someday. He knew from the get-go that I wanted to adopt. He never even batted an eye. He wanted to adopt also. 

We grew our family easily, very easily, and before we knew it we were parents to 4 little boys within 5 years. I was MORE than content to be finished with pregnancy forevermore, amen. People would ask us if we were "done" and we always said absolutely, yes. But we often added, "done having babies, not necessarily done bring children into our family." I figured we'd wait awhile, after all, it's been a long time since we got a decent night's sleep.

BUT.

More and more, it seemed that God was determined to keep orphans, their stories, and the desperate need right in front of our noses. I followed Brandon around, reading scripture, passages from books, all with tears falling down my face. You see, I'm a Mama Bear. Big time. I don't like it when my kids kick off their blankets at night, even in the summer. The thought of children in this world without parents to love them as much as we love our boys, pretty much shattered my heart. 

We discovered that the process would take a while. International adoption requires a double dose of perseverance. We also discovered that the price tag would absolutely require us to do fundraising and applying for grants. And so, we decided "no time like the present". Let's get this ball rolling.

And so, now we have stepped out, not sure how it will all work out, but truly believing that our heart is for children, we have plenty of room in our family, and God will not leave them as orphans.