Recently I had the privilege of writing a letter of recommendation for our friends, who are also adopting. Aside from the fact that it helped them to complete their dossier (Woo Hoo!!!!), it was a great exercise for me to sit down and write about all the things I love about these sweet friends, who have been so instrumental in the last decade of our life. As I reflected on their (many) strengths, one thing really stuck out to me.
They're teachable., Forgive me for the use of a buzz word, but it really is the best descriptor of this particular quality. They are confident parents who act out of conviction, prayer, and love for their kiddos. But they never assume their way is the only way. They seek to be taught, and are open to new information. They are humble in their approach to life, and I just love that about them.
It's also an incredible example to me. I am one who tends to be all or nothing. I make decisions (well-researched, informed) decisions and I have a hard time being open to anything other than my own understanding of a given topic. I have very strong opinions and I can easily fall into judging others who do not agree with me.
This is a big problem when you're adopting. I know pretty much nothing. Unless you've been through it or worked extremely closely with adopted children, and particularly internationally adopted children in our case, you just can't know much. I am relying totally on the experience of others to help us succeed in bringing our daughter into our family. All the things I've done with my biological children, all my natural instincts, are pretty much up for debate when it comes to mothering our new daughter, especially at first. Her life experience will be so very different from the children born to us, that we have to consider it at every turn. Attachment will be different. Discipline will be different. Socialization will be different. Food will be different. Everything.
That is hard.
But it's also so, so, so good. It means we are being forced to be open-minded. It means that we must be humble, relying on others to help us and impart their wisdom. It means that because we already love our little girl so much, we are totally willing to be the object lesson for going "wide-angle" as we relearn parenting.
Here's what I'm learning. Education is priceless. I'm not talking about degrees and diplomas. I'm talking about what happens when we go looking for information that challenges our world view a little bit. It's about considering that ours cannot be the only, the best, or the last perspective. I can go on and on and on about what is happening in Ethiopia right now, or I can share a resource that says it for me in a way that I never could. This happened just recently. I pointed a dear friend to "Walk to beautiful", a documentary on Netflix about a major health issue women are facing in Ethiopia. This friend is a nurse and I knew it would interest her. It changed her views totally. She has a big heart, and she just lacked some information. Education rocked her world.
This is happening to me constantly. I am reading books, watching movies, reading articles. And as I take in new information, I can feel transformation. Not too long ago, my world was pretty much my four walls, and now, I feel like I'm not only seeing more and more of the world every day, but I'm looking for it.
I want so badly to have the teachable spirit that our friends have. I am trying to hold everything loosely these days. Everything I've been told, taught, thought, assumed. And a funny thing is happening. As I let go of more and more of my "convictions" on so many "issues", I'm seeing Jesus more than ever. He's clearer to me than ever. I am more sure of Him than ever.
I had no idea that all my opinions were blurring Him so much. We've had folks tell us what a blessing we will be to our precious daughter. What I want you to know is that she is a blessing to us. Right now. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be seeing the world so differently.
And my Jesus would still be just a bit out of focus.
No comments:
Post a Comment